So...When IS The Right Time To Leave?

I know all of you have been-there and done-that a few times in your life. Whether involved in a relationship gone sour, a horrific job, or even those times when you attended an awkward function, a little voice asked you ‘So, when would be the right time to leave?’ Right? So, IS there a perfect time? A moment when the thought of change doesn’t scare the hell outta you or when you consider complacency to be the easy route?

Though I am far from any PhD who could give you a monument full of reasons and examples, from my experiences – as well as those who I’ve talked with –all vary like the wind depending on each of the situations. However, there seems to be one, main directive for all.

Depending on, say… a relationship – whether it be dating, engagement, or marriage – it seems that we always have the tendency to think about the others involved but not our selves. Many times in dating, though we might discover the other person is a real jerk, for some strange reason many stay in it while thinking that ‘they could be changed’ or whatever. Really? You think so? And how about when that person strikes you – either verbally, or God forbid, physically? Think THAT will change? Uh… I don’t think so. ‘Oh… but what about their family? I just LOVE their family?’ you might be asking. Or, ‘We’re getting married in a couple of weeks! I can’t cancel now.’ Or how about the old favorite… ‘We have children! We HAVE to stay together for them!’ Come on, really? Are any of those good enough reasons for YOU to go through your personal Hell?

And then there’s ‘work’.  There you are at a job that when first hired you thought it was just the greatest of all places to be, didn’t you? I mean, why else would you have taken it in the first place? Then one day – whether due to work given, personality clashes, lack of appreciation, or just tired of the surrounding B.S. – you realize that it’s time to get the Hell outta Dodge. And though at that moment you might ponder sticking it out – expecting things to get better - or it’s the fear of having to find another job while your finances suffer, deep down inside you really just want to leave. But is the amount of suffering … stressing… for you to go through worth keeping a job you totally despise? I don’t think so. And yes, if you were to win the lottery, then the action of leaving that job wouldn’t be worth the hesitation. You would just quickly hit the door, while singing ‘Take This Job And Shove It’.

So… when IS the PERFECT time to leave a relationship…a job…or a situation where you don’t feel comfortable? Simple! When you realize that it’s the best thing for YOU to do! When you admit to yourself that YOUR life is too important, too short, for anyone, any event, or any job to cheapen otherwise.

If YOU’RE not happy, then change things! Take control of the life around YOU! And though you’re gonna be scared as Hell to start making those changes, trust me… you’ll be SO glad that you did! And though being complacent might seem to be easier route to take, all that you’re doing is putting off the inevitable while hurting yourself at the same time. 

You came into this World alone, and you’re going to leave this World alone.  Enjoy the ride!

Politics? Really? I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Politics!

Of course we are all aware of the politics that go on in government, but what I’m referring to are the politics that follow us in our everyday life – extended family, work, and even those acts dished out by strangers who cross our paths.

You know what I’m talking about. Whether born into it, flipping hamburgers at some fast food joint, or sitting in a work cubicle or large office somewhere, politics seem to follow us wherever we go. And no matter how hard we try to look past the brown nosing, backstabbing, insecurities from those who are trying their best to be noticed or accepted, the truth of the actions remain – they are willing to do whatever it takes to move up the ladder of life.

And so, really? Are things SO important that you have to cheapen your own character just to feel that you are better than those around you? Is it your insecurity or the selfish power gathering that continues to make you a kiss up? For me… life is too short.

What I HAVE learned from both personal and business experiences is that politics doesn’t do anything but divide. You can take the best of families or work environments, throw politics into the mix, and then watch how even the strongest foundations become weak. It’s sad… but true.

So, what secrets do I use in order to deal with the politics lobbed around me? Well, when it comes to extended family, I accept my loved ones for whom they are as well as the dynamic for which we’ve made. However, if it comes to a point when their actions or attitudes are hurting others, then I will step up and try to correct. As for any politics within the workplace, I try to keep my head down and do my work while letting others hang themselves. Oh, and I also make sure that either the volume is up on my headset or that my earplugs are crammed tightly in my ears.

Yes, be thankful for family! Be thankful for employment! Be thankful for the life around you! But while living your life, don’t let the words and actions from others bring you down or control you. Of course, for the most part, politics doesn’t show its ugly head on a constant basis. But when it does… it truly is ugly.

And so… politics? Really? I don’t need no stinkin’ politics.

'Ode To The Turtle I Squashed In The Road'

While driving home from work recently, I ran over a turtle. I know it's not a big deal, but I STILL felt bad about running over that little guy. So, okay... I'm a bit of a softy.

I mean, there he was just minding his own business - trying his best to hurry across the interstate - when I came along and cruelly ruined his entire day…for good! And what about those he left behind? After the dreadful act, I couldn’t help to then think of the devastating effect my carelessness would have on the rest of his family members – how the little ones were probably patiently waiting for his return.

So anyway, for the past few days I’ve continued to scour the location of where my terrible act occurred, maybe in hopes to give one last bit of apology – or maybe even way a final prayer of sorts. However, no matter of how hard I looked, I never saw any remains of the little guy – not even a chalk outline made by a kind of turtle police.

Well, it was after my most recent search when I decided the only fitting way to maybe respect the memory of him one last time, would be to write something…something like an ode.

And so, folks, I now present to you ‘Ode To The Turtle I Squashed In The Road’.     

Ode to the turtle I squashed in the road.

I'm sure you were gentle, but you moved sorta slow.

But I pen out this homage to you, friend or foe.

This ode to you, turtle, that I squashed in the road.

Where were you going by not thinking twice?

Not thinking about family; but only of time?

Some big promotion, or other news to share?

That made you try crossing such dangerous fare.

Of course, little turtle, I am totally to blame.

To do something different to give you a save.

A weave to the right; or just watching my speed

Could have kept you, sweet turtle, from being plastered by me

So who is the family member to send,

This ode of remembrance, 'bout you, my small friend?

Returned with a favor, if you'd be ever so kind;

To stop shooting the finger every time I drive by.

OMG! Could you imagine if it were a dog, cat, or something else that I ran over – and not a small turtle? I could just see myself trying to address THAT guilt by erecting some kind of statue!

Seven Degrees of ... Family

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a family reunion. And though unlike those portrayed in movies and sitcoms, for the most part it was pleasantly uneventful – no infighting, no deep family secrets revealed, and thankfully no gossipy discussions about this person or that. Just a good, old fashioned, pass-the-barbeque-and-banana-pudding-type of gathering.

Unlike those attended in the past however, I soon found myself more melancholy than years past. This time I discovered myself more of a studier of those in attendance, as well as an active participant in actual, grown-up family discussions. So, why the change? Well, I believe it could had been in large part to the passing my 50-year-old mark since the last time I saw these folks; a maturity that gave me a better understanding of what reunions were really all about… family. For during this weekend, I found myself more appreciative of the extended branches I had - their history, as well as each unique leaf that made up my family tree. And though a bit more weathered and fragile, each of those leaves still held places in my heart, as well as fond memories of their youth gone by.

Unfortunately though, that was the underlying sad truth intertwined among those days’ activities. The truth, as well as the profound appreciation, of just how delicate our lives; our family; our tree actually is. The truth that there will come a time when – no matter how much we don’t want it to happen – that some of those loved ones wouldn’t be around for reunions or gatherings in the future. In heartfelt remembrances, of course. But in physical being…no.

So as I drove back from the fellowship shared, I felt a stronger gratitude for those I called ‘family’.  From this also, a need to share that no matter how dysfunctional your family may be, or whatever problems you may have with those you share blood with, life is too short not to recognize…not to honestly be thankful for… the family that you have.

One of the definitions of the word ‘reunion’ is as follows: The action of being brought together again as a unified whole.

Pretty much sums it up. Don’t cha think?

A Different Take On When To Post To A Blog

An author well versed with all things blogging shared that when adding an entry to my blog, I would need to do it two- to three-times a week in order to build a solid readership.

Well, knowing how present time constraints would keep me from penning something three times a week – and the two times a week deadline would be a challenge all its own – then twice a week could be the only logical route for me to take at this point.

What science did I use? What marketing guru shared demographics and pie charts informing me that certain days were the primo times to share some ramblings? Actually… none of the above. I did what any creative person would do and that would be to turn the days of the week into human characters and cram them all into a single room. Think about it? How best to choose which days would be chosen than to study each characteristics and social behaviors?

So… Monday. Well needless to say, this guy just DOESN’T want to do ANYTHING. If you’re lucky, you MIGHT get some attention from him by late afternoon – and even then he would rather be someplace else! And as for getting along with others? Forget about that! NOBODY wants to be associated with him and the entire world seems to hate seeing him come around – unless he’s matched up with a holiday.

Tuesday, poor ol’ Tuesday. Pretty much just stays to himself and takes care of business. In fact it seems that that’s all he ever does is business! He’s got a bit of an insecurity issue since coming before Wednesday – but hesitantly smiles to himself when acknowledging that he’s much better accepted than Monday.

Then there’s Wednesday! OMG! Other than Friday, this one gets into everyone’s face and says, ‘Guess what day I am? Hump Day! Yeah, that’s ME! Hump Day! Hump Day! Hump Day!’ He’s very overbearing with a month-sized ego to boot. All the other days just shake their heads and shy away from any contact – knowing that in reality, Wednesday is just another middle-of-the-week day.

Thursday? Now Thursday is pretty much the laid back one of the bunch that everyone seems to accept like a good friend. Gets a little attention for being in line ahead of Friday, but a little attention is fine with him.

Friday on the other hand? Well, it’s ALL about him! He struts around, knowing that it’s him who everyone outside the room looks forward to seeing during the workweek. His mind is never on doing any real work, and the other days are tired of seeing the silly T.G.I.F shirt he always wears. Full of himself? Uh, yeah. And the group doesn’t see it ever changing in the future.

As for Saturday? Well, Saturday is bi-polar with a mixture of laziness and ADHD. Sometimes he as energetic as a hurricane, other times he’s like a knot on a log – not interested in doing anything. Everyone in the room loves Saturday, however, mainly because he always invites them over for a cookout.

And finally we have Sunday. Sunday is quiet and reserved; one of those morning personalities, but all day long. He tries not to judge the other days actions or behaviors but accepts them – and loves them - for who they are.

So, there I stood with winning envelopes in hand, in this room occupied by the seven days of the week. Immediately, Sunday looked at me and gestured for me to pass him up – giving the honors to a couple of the others. Monday was playing on his smart phone while Tuesday quietly waited to be turned down. Wednesday and Friday were battling each other for my attention, and Thursday just stood watching all the activity going on. And finally there was Saturday – who could have cared less what the outcome was.

 Finally, the announcement was made, and the day’s chosen were Monday and Thursday!

So, why were they picked? Well, Monday, because I felt bad for his lack of attention from the others and felt he needed a positive boost. And Thursday? Because he was a good guy.

And YOU thought that the decision of when to post to a blog was a piece of cake, didn’t you?  Well, surprise! :) 

160 Miles of Reflection

Many of you don’t know this but I commute to work – a trek that averages 160 miles every day. And though this daily journey has a tendency to wear me out with not only the concerns of being pulled over, having a flat, experiencing engine problems, or even being involved in a wreck; the time alone also plays havoc with my additional concerns of all things life related – money, health, family … stuff like that.

With that being said, then it should come to no surprise that it’s also during these travels when I take the time to … well, pray. Yes, pray.  Talk to The Man Upstairs! Give a shout-out to the Alpha and the Omega. And, why not? Talk about the perfect opportunity to send up prayers for all of you out there… on a daily basis! That’s okay. You can thank me later.

Well, anyway… one morning last week, after doing the prayer thing, I started to become aware of a simple similarity between my faith in The Father and when MY father took us on vacations.

You see as my father drove the family to an assortment of destinations –near or far, during daylight or night – we knew without question that wherever it was we were going, we were in good hands. With our blind faith in his judgment, we knew that he would only stop at the safest places and have us eat at decent restaurants. With my father behind the wheel, everyone in that vehicle – including myself – knew without doubt that he loved us so much that he make sure all was well.

“Hmmmm… kinda similar to having faith in The Man Upstairs,” I thought, smiling to myself.  That even though we didn’t know which direction we were going, or how long it would take to get there, we knew that everything would be just fine.

So now that I have gotten older, I realized during that morning drive that if I just gave in and let Him take the wheel in my life, then whatever problems I was faced with at the time… well, all would turn out fine.

Now, I ain’t preaching or anything like that. But what I am saying is that whether you believe in Christ, God, Mohammad, Budda, or whomever… it might be something to consider - that whenever your life seems to be going in a multitude of unknown directions, just give Him the wheel. Let Him take control of your journey.

Once you reach your destination, I believe you will be glad you did.