Me? A Walmart greeter? Hmmmm

So, this past weekend my wife and I started to talk about how to gather funds for our impending retirement – a conversation that we have had many times before. And it was during our discussion that she matter-of-factly stated that due to my bloodline that the odds were greatly in my favor of living longer that she. You see, my grandfather lived past 104 years, and most of my extended family are still around – which pretty much equates to me being on this rock a bit longer. And so, needless to say, I had to think a bit selfishly as to how I could bring in additional income in my golden years.

At first my thoughts quickly turned to being one of those Walmart greeters. You know, one of those folks who stand stoically at the entrance of each store; checking receipts and saying ‘hello’ to those who enter?

Then it hit me! What other profession could I have that would call for an immediate need and service, without a lot of competition from other seniors? What offerings could I give being such a ripe old age? In fact, what type of employment would accept not only my extreme years but also my ancient appearance? Well, none other than that of being a senior citizen GIGOLO!

Yeah… just think about it! To start, the competition would be close to zilch – putting the amount of available clientele out of the roof. Then with the accessibility of that wonder drug, Viagra… well, needless to say – though most of the body might be worn, that offering would be constant! And as for incorporating the ‘greeter’ roll into the services, it makes for the perfect opportunity to hand out business cards to possible clients. It’s would be a win-win situation!

I’m thinking the ‘look’ would consist of white shoes, white belt, plaid pants, silk buttoned-down shirt, and that thing around the neck called an ascot. Whatcha think?

Man… this could go international! I could even franchise out! The possibilities are endless!

Of course the last thing I would EVER want is for my wife, Lisa, to leave me. However, if it came to the point when I had to live my final days by myself… well then, watch out female AARP members! One day you might just get a knock on YOUR door!