Though five years and a few
months ago, it still seems like yesterday. For it was in April of 2009 that my
brother, Steve, took his life. And I guess that I only mention it at this time
due to the recent measures that led to the passing of the talented Robin
Williams.
You see, whenever losing
someone to suicide, it’s events such as the ending of Mr. Williams life that
bring back the memories of the hurt, anger, and shock I felt when it happened
to our family. When it happened … to me.
The guilt. The questions.
Man… all those self-evaluating questions. “Could I have done something
different?” “What ‘sign’ didn’t I notice?” “When did I let my brother down?”
And I guess it’s always that later that pains me the most.
Of course, everyone will tell
you that once someone makes up their minds to end their life that there is
really nothing you can do – that dwelling on questions or feelings like
mentioned earlier is just a waste of time. And I know that that is the case,
but still one can’t help but to wonder and beat themselves up.
Death in itself is tragic.
It’s never easy to lose anyone – whether from old age, illness, an accident, or
whatever. Never. However, I feel that when an act like suicide is the cause,
then it just seems to hurt a bit more - more because it addresses your own
caring nature. That instinctive ability that each of us has to help our fellow
man.
As for the recent passing of
Mr. Williams, I guess it just shows to the masses that no matter how someone
may seem on the outside, it’s not necessarily the case on the inside. And, as
well, this could really be a lesson for all of us living today. The lesson to
never assume that everyone is ‘fine’ and that their lives are without problems.
Reminds me of the old Smokey Robinson song ‘The Tears of a Clown’ - The tears of a
clown\when there's no one around.
But anyway… for the masses
mourning right now, eventually the vigils will cease and the news coverage will
fade. And soon, the memories of such a great and talented artist will only
become – for most - flickers on small and large screens.
However for Robin Williams’
family and friends – much like those who knew my brother, Steve – the pain will
never go away. There will always be the
questions, the hurt, the anger, as well as the disbelief. There will always be…
There will always be…
And so just a thought, folks
– if you notice that someone may be a bit standoffish, depressed, introverted,
troubled in ANY WAY, make the first move and talk to them. Feel them out to
make sure all is good. Look past the façade – that fake smile they might have
plastered on their face – and try to search deeper within their hearts.
You might be glad that you
did, and they as well.
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